Friday, November 13, 2009

With This Ring...I Take Your Family

Getting married has its perks.  One of those perks is extending your family.  Sometimes this can be a good thing, or it can be a nightmare.  Thank goodness that I like my in-laws, and Timothy likes my side of the family too!  Although I wish my parents lived in the same town as us, I am glad that they don't live very far away.  Here are a few pictures of our extended family (I hope they don't mind having their mug on the internet...)

My side: Papa J, Mama C, and Bro D

Everybody plus my grandparents! They look awesome.

Timothy's side of the fam: Sister B and her brood, Brother T, and Mama L

And Timothy's paternal side...Sisters S and M, Mama M, and Papa J

So there it is...Mi Familia! I love them all!! 

Which brings me to my next point, you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family!...And since the holidays are getting close I felt the need to reference one of the most amazingly disfunctional families of all time...The Griswolds...So here for your viewing pleasure are my Top 10 Christmas Vacation Quotes (**Disclaimer, if you don't like a little language for affect, don't read below):

10.  Bethany: Is your house on fire Clark?
Clark: No Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

9.  [Todd and Margo Chester, the Griswold's yuppie neighbors, appear]

Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark: I wasn't talking to you.

8.  Clark: Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.

Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think you mean burn rubber and eat my dust.
Clark: Whatever, Russ. Whatever.

7.  Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous.

Clark: Nervous or excited?
Ruby Sue: Shittin' bricks.
Clark: You shouldn't use that word.
Ruby Sue: Sorry. Shittin' rocks

6.  Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.

Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

5.  Eddie: Every time Catherine would turn on the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour.

4.  Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.
Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear?
Nora Griswold: Grace!
Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.
Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace.
[Bethany shakes her head in confusion]
Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING!
Aunt Bethany: [they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Clark: Amen.

3.  Ellen: Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell
2.  Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on it's way in from New York City.
Eddie: [after a pause] You serious, Clark?
And the #1 Quote...
1.  Clark: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
Merry Early Christmas! Hope you are as thankful for your family as I am of mine! :)

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